I’ve always been an introvert and a bookworm. Performing something or some act and getting an ovation is very rare event for me. If I remember correctly, my first and only time I got to the stage was for performing Kathak dance. Then I received a standing ovation from the audience. It was actually “we” received an ovation, or more accurately we without me. I prefered the corner position on the stage, so I am less visible to the audience. Not one of my best memories.
The best ovation that I received is when I was 7 or 8 years old. That year during summer vacation my brother starts teaching me how to ride bicycle. The first day I was really scared of falling, but with the help of my brother, I didn’t fall off, at least on the first day. We used to go to the playground and my daily practiced riding bike. I fell from bike many times. Every time I fell, I used to get angry and say to my brother that I can wake, and there is no need to learn riding a bike.Then he used to tell me that I should not give up so early, that we should always finish what we have started. He used to say that if you didn’t get your knee hurt while learning bike riding, you don’t know how to ride it perfectly. To cheer me up, he sometimes gave me chocolates and candies. After practicing daily, I finally learned how to handle that two wheel monster.
By the end of the summer, I was able to ride bike on my own. That day, I returned home, riding on my bike, with my brother chasing me behind. When we reached home, I called my mom outside to show off my newly acquired skill. It was then I received my best ovation, my mother and brother being the audience. Their smiles being my trophy.
Wow! It’s already December. Christmas is almost here and we are just three weeks away from new year.
I remember standing on the terrace and wishing everyone new year eve while watching paper lanterns race in the sky. I remember how this year also, just like every year, I promised myself that I’ll study from the starting of the semester and fail to do so. AGAIN. Just now I was dancing and enjoying in Feb fest with my friends.
I remember joining WordPress and writing my first blog. Writing all the stupid stuff that come up in my mind reading the prompt. *Still doing the same*
Just two weeks back I had my final exam. I remember studying till 3:00 am, saving every second and working hard. And now wasting (and enjoying) my time as much as possible.
Time flew away like this.
Another round around the earth almost completed and about to begin a new.
Me and my friends made this wall painting. Three of us get over excited and ended up making it clumsy.
We all are still working on it to make it right 😛
Me: *Opens an eye, look around**start talking to myself*. Oh! It’s so dark. I think it’s too early to leave. I’ll get up after 15 minutes.
Me: *Click somewhere on my mobile screen to put alarm on snooze*
*Alarm rings again*
Me: *Opens an eye**look at mobile screen* ..:45 am. *look around* *sees sun rays coming from the window* *start talking to myself* Wow! It only takes 15 minutes for pitch dark room to be filled with morning sunlight.
I feel like I’ve been sleeping for an hour or so. I think this 15 minute nap was my morning power nap. LOL. But it’s weird, it’s too bright for 5:40 am. Well, I should get up, otherwise I’ll be late.
*slowly crawl out of my bed and walks towards washroom* .. *STOPS* Oh my God! Wait a second! *runs back towards my mobile phone and check the time* 6:45 am!
*Start running here and there, getting ready as fast as I could while crying why I am so Clumsy*
This incident happened just a day ago, when I was coming home from the hostel (as my mid semester break started. YAY! ). I had to leave from the hostel at 7:00 am to reach the bus station at 7:30 am. When I woke up at 5:30 am and clicked “somewhere” on mobile click, instead of snooze I dismissed the alarm. And the next alarm was my regular alarm. I thought it was 5:40, and didn’t bother to check whether it was 5:40 or 6:40 am. And ended up getting late for my bus. ( But I got the bus, the bus started late). And it’s not the first time I acted so clumsily and ended up racing to reach my destination. And everyone scolds me for acting like this.
But I like being clumsy. I like making mistakes and learning. I like running at the end time to get the things right. I like that rush. And when the thing is done, I like giving that “Like a boss” look. 😛
Six months back, my brother owned a windows phone. When he purchased it, he was really happy. It had large screen and good camera quality. He was satisfied with it. Then a new phone came up in the market. And suddenly, he realized that his phone is not good enough. So, he sold his phone and bought a this new phone. After using it for a month, he was not satisfied with its performance. He ended up with the line, “I wish I hadn’t sold my windows phone”. Actually, it was not like that the phone wasn’t good enough when my brother sold it, but he wanted to buy the new mobile. It is funny that when we have something, we don’t really care about it. But once that thing is gone, suddenly we realize its worth.
And same thing is application on our view about age. This year, on 23 July, my friend turned 20. While we were chatting, she told me that it was her dream to not to be called a teenager. And finally, that she is 20, she is no more a teenager. She was really happy about it. And just now, I was reading some post about youth. And I found a post where the author has written about how much he envy the youth. That the youth have enough time to do what they want to do which author don’t have.
When we are young, we don’t really enjoy it to the fullest because at that time that we want to grow old and enjoy a settled life. But as we grow old, we don’t enjoy that time of life because we are too busy remembering about how carefree life was back then we were young. We always chase the thing we don’t have. And this chase is endless and we often end up in gloominess.
We should not regret about the thing we don’t have. Instead, we should enjoy our life as it is, with what we have. Be grateful for everything you have.
I remember when I was a kid, every morning as I woke up, I used to stand up on my bed and pretend as if I am holding a magic wand. Then I move my hand in such a way as if casting a spell and say something like ‘Abra ka dabra’ or any other spell that I’ve learnt from cartoons. And if you are wondering why did I do so, the answer is because of the ventilator in my room. Every morning when I wake up the first thing that I see was dust mote. I used to think that it is magical dust and only my Eyes could see it. I used to think that I have magical powers. Why I am saying used to, I still believe I have magical power, I just haven’t discovered them yet.
When I was 7 years old or maybe 8, I watched a movie called ‘Halloween Town’. In that movie, Marnies’ grandmother told Marnies’ mother that if Marnie won’t use her magical power before she turns 13, she’ll lose her magical power. And that think got stuck in my brain. That I have to discover my magical power before I turn 13 otherwise I’ll lose it. I tried every magical spell. But they never worked and I turned 13. And by the way, Marnie is the name of protagonist of this movie. But I wasn’t sad about that because at that time I saw another movie ‘Twitches’. In that movie, the twin sister discovered their magical power at the age of 17. So, I set a new deadline. I tried many things. Sometimes I used to stare things, thinking of moving them. Yes, you can laugh, I know this sounds stupid, but I really wanted that to happen. Years passed, and I turned 17. And I didn’t discover my magical powers. Was I sad? NO! Thanks to another movie which rescheduled my deadline to 19. I am still trying to find my magical powers. I am still waiting for that moment. I know this sounds stupid but I just can’t stop believing in magic.
And by the way, my new deadline is 23 days away, I’ll let you all know on that day if I discovered something or not. 😛
There is a proverb in Hindi language, ” Chand pe bhi daag hote he”. It means even moon has got spots. This proverb signifies that nothing is flawless. Even the moon which from earth look all smooth has got mountains and rough surface. I use this proverb a lot! But in a different context. I have a birthmark on my face. Half of my right cheek is covered by it. Whenever someone meets me for first time their first question is what’s that on your face. Did I burn my cheek. Then I tell them that it’s my birthmark. And their reaction is like, “Oh! Did you consult any doctor regarding removing it? Do you apply any cream or something on it?”. And every time my answer is “No”. Then come their concern and pity. To this my reply is something like this ( And always like this!), “Arey, you must have heard that Chand pe bhi daag hote he, and my birthmarks proves that! I am beautiful like moon that’s why God gave me this mark”. And after hearing this, there is a smile on every face around me. However, mine is the biggest one.
So, moral of the blog this time is that we all have something that everyone point out. And some of us, like me, have something that every one show pity for. And I’ve seen some people who takes these comments to their heart and when other show pity they get angry. I want to tell them ‘ Don’t be angry’. Instead show them how happy you are being like you. Show them that you love being different and adore yourself like that.
Life is not bad or good, it’s how you look at it.
It’s all about perception!
I still remember that awful day when all this started. I was always fond of paranormal stuffs. I loved horror movies and scary novels. That day I just finished reading a novel called “Pastlife”. In that novel, the protagonist want to find the reason behind the unusual events taking place in her life. Someone told her that contacting her dead grandparents or great grand parents might help. So, she call the spirits of her grandparents and talk to them with the help of Ouija board. They told her that answers to her questions lies in her past life. Then she went to a hypnotist and took a journey to her past life and find everything that she wanted to know. I was fascinated by the idea of taking a journey in past life. I searched about it the whole morning. Like how can I do it myself, what are the things required, etc. It was all about meditation and focusing.
After reading all that, I went to try this method. I followed every step that I’ve read. I closed all the curtain of my room and turn off the light. I set on a chair in my room. I start meditating. I imagined that I am surrounded by a white light, that is going to protect me from every negative energy. Then I imaged a hallway, at the end of which there was a door. I started moving forward. As I imagined moving towards the door, someone knocked on the door of my room. And all of a sudden, everything went blank. I opened my eyes and saw my sister was stand at the door. I started scolding her that she disturbed me in the middle of something. She asked me what I was doing and I told her. After listening to me she burst into laughter. She told me that there is no such thing as past life and asked me to join her in shopping. I knew that I can’t convince her regarding it and went with her for shopping. We came back really late. I went straight into my bed and within five I was sleeping. I was sleeping peacefully. Then suddenly I felt grip on my neck. As if someone was trying to choke me. I tried opening my eyes but was unable to do so. I tried shouting but my lips didn’t move. It felt like as if my whole body was paralysed. I was petrified. I start repeating the name of God in my head. After sometime I felt the grip losing up and I opened my eyes. As I moved my eyes, I saw a figure departing from my room. “What was that?” I asked myself. “Was it a ghost?”. I was so scared to move, to scream or to do any thing. Whole night I didn’t sleep. I was lying on my bed as stiff as a dead body.
Next morning, I told my mom everything that happened with me last night. She said that it was all my imagination, that I’ve been watching too much of horror movies.
Now, a year have passed since this incident. Nothing like that ever happened again. But sometime I feel that something is behind me. Staring me. And I know that it’s not my imagination.
Imagine you are standing in front of a tunnel. This tunnel is life. The tunnel is completely dark. All you can see is darkness all around except at the end of the tunnel. At the end of the tunnel is a small point of light. This small point is your goal. You know that at the end of this tunnel lies a beautiful world. A world which have everything you always wanted, so you start moving forward. One day passed, all you can see is just a small spike of light but you don’t stop because you know a wonderful world awaits there at the end of this tunnel. You keep on moving. Three weeks passed, still just a small spike of light, nothing else. But you still keep on moving, because you have a wonderful picture in your head that keeps you motivating. One year passed, still a spike of light. It’s a bit brighter, but not that bright, not that big enough that can keep you motivated. Suddenly, you feel all confused. Your mind is full of doubts, whether you should keep moving and carry on doing what you have started or turn around.
At one point of time or other, all of us face this dilemma. Whether we should keep moving or turn around, to go back to the place where everything is okay. At that point of time, don’t be scared, don’t give up and don’t turn around. Carry on what you’ve started. Take it this way, that if you go back, you’ll get to a place which is okay, “just okay”. Nothing more. And after all the hard work that you’ll do to go back, there will be nothing new, nothing wonderful. But if you put these efforts to more forward you’ll get closer to the end of the tunnel, where you know that there is something more, something wonderful.
P.S.: Taking life as a tunnel was not my idea. All credit goes to my friend Himadri. In all our stupid conversation, sometime we end up with wonderful ideas.
Just a few days back, I was pushing my friend to attend the audition of the literary society of our college. She loves writing, and was interested in joining such society from first year, but by the time she come to know about this society the registration had already been closed. This time, in second year, we (me and my 2 friends) reminded her to fill the registration form of that society. She said she’ll fill the form later.But we forced her to fill the form that very day. Then she told us that she is not sure if she will be able to qualify for the society and she don’t want to embarrass herself in front of everyone. I told her that she should at least fill the form and can think about it later if she want to attend the 3 day workshop cum audition or not. She filled up the form and submitted it.
A week later, we were leaving from college for our home when we come to know about the audition of that society. I asked her if she is going to attend it or not. She said that she knows she can’t speak in front of so many people.I told her that she don’t need to worry about it, that I know she can do it. Then she told me that she knows that she is good at writing stuff, but when it comes to presenting her ideas in front of everyone she find it difficult to put her thought in words.She said that every time she try to speak, everything gets complicated, that she is not able to find words and goes blank. I knew she wanted to join the society so badly. I literally forced her to attend the 1st day of audition. I told her that it is only she who is making it complicated by thinking about it too much, by thinking about what everyone else would think about it. I told her that whole life we worry about what others think of us and complicate our lives so much, and in the end, we‘ll realize that no one was actually thinking about us. It’s all about what “we think”. Then she agreed to attend the audition. It went okay. Then she attended the second day, it went well. And 4 days back, she went for the interview round and it went awesome! Results are yet to be announced, but she is really happy that at least she tried. She thanked us for helping her to push her boundaries. [P.S.: I forgot to mention that on first day of audition before going for audition she told me she hates me for forcing her.]
Life is not complicated. It is just us, who makes it complicated.
Remember that, “There is no existence without perception.”